Adding Up the Small Stuff for a Silver Lining

Yes. A supervisor at work attempted to get me in trouble for NOT working on my break.

Yes. In trying to be funny, I insulted the staff of my local newspaper.

Yes. My dinner plans were thwarted due to being drenched in vomit.

Most would consider this to be a horrible day. For me, not even close. I work in customer service therefore any living thing that can pick up a telephone has the right to crap on me. I’m a comedian (by night), so wisecracks often fall on all-too-serious ears. I’m a father. Poop and vomit is my business. It’s just a lil’ tough when all three worlds collide in one day.

But still… if I balance out the mini “silver linings” in my day, I still end up ahead. I will now share these events with you. Keep in mind… sometimes, you have to look for the small things that make you smile. They really add up.

Lemoyne EP by Fluorescent Biege

I discovered some new tunes. Jeremy Arambulo is the star of a new webseries called “Mythomania.” What many of its viewers may not know is that Arambulo records his own songs under the name “Fluorescent Beige.” His new EP is called “Lemoyne” and acoustic singer/songwriter fans can download it for free at Soundcloud. I’m listening to it as I write this blog post.

I was offered a gig. I am an aspiring stand-up comedian and I was asked to do a show with comedian, David Lee. True, it’s not a shot at instant fame or anything but it was the first comedy show offered to me outside of my usual circle of comedians who usually book me. It’s all about baby steps. If the circle keeps slowly expanding, who knows what other opportunities are on the horizon.

My daughter - Photo by Lisa Hoang of Windwardskies Photography

Speaking of baby steps, my 17-month-old daughter continues to inspire me daily. As she suffers through the diarrhea and vomiting episodes of the stomach flu, she somehow delivers a smile that instantly lights up the room. If my daughter can smile after exploding from both ends, then whining about the tribulations of my life seem silly.

As a bonus, I ended my day with a lowball of whiskey on the couch, watching an episode of Conan. The musical guest was Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue. I found his flavor of contemporary jazz to be very soulful and he delivered an amazing performance. As a trombone/singer frontman myself, it motivated me to keep doing what I’m doing.

Dark clouds are temporary. They drain out and pass over. There is always something big and bright right behind it.

The Test of the Plain White Tee

When is it time to get back in shape? I believe mother nature gives us many signs. Of course there’s the major signs, like strokes and/or heart attacks. However there are simpler ones to be found.

In my stand-up comedy act, I talk about one of the signs is to watch my “man-boob” while rubbing on deodorant. While applying my Degree “Arctic Blast” or whatever its called, my man-boob would jump around like a nervous eye ball… kind of like the eye of Sauron in Lord of the Rings. You know, right after Frodo tosses the ring into the lava pit.

Another easy indicator for me is my knees and ankles. Once my BMI is well within its “obese” stage, the joints in my lower extremities start to ache and at times, even give out.

But in the case where your pecs are in place and are blessed with healthy joints, there is still the test of the plain white tee. No, I’m not talking about a crappy pop band. Get a plain white t-shirt and pop that sucker on. Be sure that there’s no graphic on the shirt because that will easily distract you from the matter at hand. Once that white cotton blend is draped over your upper half, take a look at yourself in the mirror. You will now be dealing with two things that don’t lie… a plain white tee and a mirror. If you like the overall shape you see, then great. I’m happy for you. If you’re disgusted at what you see, welcome to my club.

I was low on laundry last night and all that was left was a plain white tee for my sleep attire. Yes, I am disgusted by the shape my body creates. However I was still able to sleep that night because I know that I’m doing something about it. I’m currently calorie counting and having fun doing it. I’ve lost about 12-13 pounds so far. I won’t get too into the details of my diet until I’ve reached my goal, which is to lose 28 pounds.

Until then, I’ll be using this plain white tee to spot check myself every week or so.

My private tweet from Doug Benson

Image via Wikipedia

In the world of microblogging, twitter is king.  The little blue bird is easily integrated into any other social network, which makes twitter my first stop when unleashing my thoughts to the world.  As life-changing as my “tweets” are, I also use my twidroyd application to also check up on the happenings of my friends and favorite entertainers.  I believe a daily chuckle does a world of good and so I love to follow comedians.  Doug Benson is one of these comedians.

If you’re not familiar with comedy’s famous stoner, he was a contestant on season 5 of Last Comic Standing and has since released three albums of his standup material.  He also is the host of the Doug Loves Movies podcast, of which I am a loyal listener.  Comedy Central is the home of his latest project, The Benson Interruption.  The program is based on his live show where he interrupts standup comics in the middle of their jokes, as seen in the documentary Super High Me.

One day I saw @DougBenson at the top of my twitter feed.  Feeling saucy, I decided to publicly contact him (twitter term, “mention”).  The tweet read as follows:

“@DougBenson Doug, gimme one week of having you as my follower. I promise to be funny and interesting. Btw, your podcast rocks!”

Not realizing til a few days ago, Benson replied to my tweet within hours.  Although his reply was private (twitter term, “direct message” or “DM”).  Honestly it would’ve been exciting if he publicly replied (twitter term, “reply”) to my tweet so that I could retweet (RT) and show it to all of my comedian friends.  That is, it would’ve been cool had the tweet been positive.  Instead I was shut down by the following DM tweet:

“Thanks for listening. Not looking for strangers to follow! “

In this case I guess it was better to be rejected in private, showing that the lazy-eyed funny man has some compassion.  Plus he included a smiley face which sort of softens the blow.  He could’ve been like most celebrities and not even replied.  Taking time off from styling his kindergarten haircut just to reply to me does say something about Doug Benson.  He’s a class act.

As this blog goes public in minutes… so will this personal vow.  One day, I will be a somebody.  A somebody that people will want to know and Benson himself will put down his joint to contact me to appear on his podcast.  At which point, we’ll discuss this story of his private tweet and laugh, laugh and fart.