5 WOMEN in 1994 for Shane Sparks

Today Shane Sparks was arrested for 8 counts of child molestation.  In case you aren’t familiar with him, he was one of the male judges on Americas Best Dance Crew.  Not the smart one… the other one.

The victim in the child molestation case is 10 years younger than Sparks and the reports of these incidents go back to 1994.  This is where it gets interesting… the LA court documents claim that he was born in 1969 however Shane Sparks claims that he was born in 1974.  If Shane Sparks is telling the truth about his age, that puts him at the age of 20 back in 1994 and his young victim at the age of 10.  I hope the court’s documents are right.  Not that it’s any better, but geez… 10 years old?

In the event that time travel does one day become possible, Shane Sparks will probably be in line to correct his mistakes along with David Letterman and Tiger Woods.  In the rare event that Shane Sparks reads this awesome blog, I would like to suggest 5 women for him to nail in 1994 on his time travel adventure and to please, for the love of God, leave the 10 year old alone.

Chick #1

Cameron Diaz

Remember, Cameron Diaz wasn’t the goofy, spunky chick we all currently are familiar with.  Back in 1994, she was the sexy female damsel in distress in the box office hit, “The Mask.”  She got goofier after that.

Chick #2

Tia Carrere

Another maiden of a 1994 movie, “True Lies,” Tia Carrere.  I don’t think this movie boosted her career or anybody else’s for that matter.  However at the time, she was still riding on her fame as “Cassandra” from “Wayne’s World.”

Shane, she definitely has some down time after this movie so look her up.

Chick #3

Oprah Winfrey

Back in 1994, she was already rich.  C’mon Shane, do it for the money!

Chicks #4 & 5

Jenny & Linn Berggren from Ace of Base

Shane, you can be as hip hop as you want but you’d be bullshitting me if you said “The Sign” was not part of the soundtrack of your life in 1994.  It was a chart busting single that year and the two cherub-like voices carrying that tune were the sexy Swedes of Ace of Base, Jenny and Linn Berggren.

There you have it Shane.  If you DO go back in time, put down the candy and give these ladies a try.


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