Late Night Loser Hall of Fame Welcomes Jay Leno!

I told myself that I wouldn’t write a blog about this since it’s already out in the mainstream for discussion.  I try to keep my blog informational-centered in pop culture.  However I’m so pissed about Jay Leno being a crybaby and taking The Tonight Show from Conan O’Brien that I am inducting Jay Leno into my personal Late Night Loser Hall of Fame.  Before I rip this chintastic disgrace to comedy a new asshole, let’s take a look at some late night failures that now join him.

The Chevy Chase Show, 1993 - 1993

I’m an incredible fan of Chevy Chase‘s work in Saturday Night Live, National Lampoon’s Vacation series and now in the NBC sitcom, Community.  However let’s not forget the unholy damage he did to late night history when The Chevy Chase Show sprouted it’s ghastly face in 1993 on FOX.  The show was filmed in the Aquarius Theater, which was changed to the Chevy Chase Theater, which lacked the intimacy of typical late night shows and housed a large, ill-behaved audience.  The comedy on that show was as dull as the crayons they were written with and people viewing the show just felt embarrassed for everyone involved with the doomed project.  The Chevy Chase Show was dropped after four weeks on FOX.

The Pat Sajak Show, 1989 - 1990

Better known for his Wheel of Fortune fame, Pat Sajak also had a stint as a late night talk show host.  The Pat Sajak Show aired on CBS and had substantial success compared to Chase, running from 1989 to 1990.  Before his days on Wheel, he actually aspired to be the host of a late night show and even left the daytime version of his popular game show to pursue this opportunity.  I’m guessing a lot of people know that this show existed but never really watched it, being that affiliates of the network either delayed its time slot or never aired it at all.   Even Pat Sajak himself wasn’t there on Fridays and was on vacation for the show’s final week on the air.  I watched a few clips and it’s just weird to watch Sajak get to know someone and afterward NOT ask them to spin a wheel for a bonanza of prizes.

Jay Leno - fucking loser

First off, I only liked Jay Leno in the 80’s because he was the spokesman for Doritos.  I was a fat kid and I looooved Doritos.  In other words, in addition to being a lil’ bitch about wanting The Tonight Show back, he’s also pissing me off because Doritos gave me bitch tits.  Damn you Jay Leno for looking so cool, eating your Doritos while leaning against your motorcycle!

Even when he was originally on The Tonight Show, his show and overall humor was bland.  His level of humor is one notch above armpit jokes so that 5th graders around the country can enjoy the show when staying up with their parents.  Plus can we also talk about The Tonight Show Band?  There used to be an air of talent and class about the band when under the helm of Doc Severinsen.  When Jay took over the show, that band went to shit.  From a big band of talented ringers, it went to an ass clown with a guitar and a conga player.  How is that even a band?

I was grinning from ear to ear when Conan O’Brien came in and took the reigns.  Max Weinberg brought the prestige back to The Tonight Show Band and Conan brought in a humor that was modern and razor sharp.  Whenever I’d try to stomach the Jay Leno Show, I would be appalled at the way he’d desperately try to get new audiences.  When I saw him do Beer Pong Shot of the Week, it was just sad.  Who wants to see a gray haired dude talk about beer pong?  I actually wrote a blog about the lameness of that stunt before this whole Jay vs Conan debacle and you can read it here.

As Jay craws back to his chair at The Tonight Show, I hope he realizes that there’s no pride in what he’s doing.  Whether it was his idea or not, he should have gone out with the ratings he had because now, he’s gonna experience what bombing in the ratings is REALLY like.  Conan’s gonna have a home for his show, that’s not even in question.  Which means if simple boycotting his show won’t take Jay down, Conan on a new network will do the job and believe me, wherever that may be… it’ll be in a competing time slot.

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