Waiting for Laser Cat

Part of the incentive for my recent weight loss was a new wardrobe. The other incentive was the ability to look at my genitals without pushing my stomach to the side.

I promised myself that once my goal had been reached, I can purchase ten t-shirts in my new size (medium) from 6dollarshirts.com. Just as the URL indicates, the website sells graphic tees for six dollars. However the website has an incentive of its own. If you order ten shirts, it’s only fifty bucks (shipping not included). As you can imagine, these comical, pop-cultured garments aren’t of the best quality. My last order was about a year ago and those shirts now look about 12 years old. But hey, that “distressed” look is in anyway, right?

Since my days in high school, I have always been a firm believer that a humorous t-shirt graphic can change the mood of a room and if anything, stirs up interesting conversation. It was with this tried and true conviction that I recently completed another order with the website. The jewel of this upcoming collection, being the Laser Cat.

Not only does Six Dollar Shirts offer hilarity infused into their product, they also carry the same lightheartedness in their customer service. I received an e-mail notification, indicating my order had been filled and shipped. We’re all familiar with these mundane messages. However here’s the creative panache I received from Six Dollar Shirts:

Dear Fernando Pacheco;

Thanks for ordering from 6DollarShirts.com!

Your order was shipped on 09/03/2011 with the United States Postal
Service.

Our minions have looked over and dropped their jaws in awe at the genius
that is your amazing fashion sense. It takes true genius to pick such
impeccable design and color combinations, so naturally our crews’ first
instincts were to wear Kennedy masks, stick your order under their shirts
and flee. Luckily shock collars and therefore self-restraint have been put
to use and your order is safely packaged.

After the shocking and ‘Don’t tase me, bro’s were over, a ceremonial
candle was lit and suddenly the entire 6dollarshirts crew felt a massive
amount of dopamine release in their brains as our shipping specialist
tenderly placed the shipping label containing the following request:

We know you’re eager, but please note that you may not be able to track
your order until up to 24 hours after the postmark date.

As the package was sent on its way to you, our entire staff skipped out
into the street and did a full out 5-minute Von Trapp family dance routine
as we sang “So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu,
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu,” in 18-part harmony.

For the grand finale, Juggy hit the final “Goodbye” note and did a
cartwheel landing in a split.

We hope you enjoyed shopping on our website as much as we enjoyed
packaging and sending you your goods. We also hope this shipment
notification won’t leave you wondering where your package is as the
6dollarshirts Crew was VERY thorough with their shipping instructions.

Please practice precautions upon the arrival of your 6dollarshirts. Side
effects include but are not limited to: Larger biceps, defined cheek
bones, increased sexual prowess, thick luscious.. hair, attaining wealth,
promotions at work, rapid increase of IQ points, winning lottery numbers,
fat loss and double rainbows.

Want to be famous? E-mail sick and sexified pictures of yourself rocking
our shirts to info@6dollarshirts.com to be featured on our
blog/FB/website/billboards/music videos/award ceremonies/etc.

Blogoceros: 6dollarshirts.com/news
Tweet Tweet Tweedle Dee: @ twitter.com/6dollarshirts
Face-like
 us here: facebook.com/sixdollarshirts
Every day we’re tumblin’: 6dollarshirts.tumblr.com

-MacKensie at ThreadPit and 6Dollar Shirts.

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