Three places I wish were real

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As the National Lampoon’s franchise resurrects with the latest installment of Vacation, attention returns to a fictional home of Marty Moose – Walleyworld. I haven’t seen the latest film but based on the original Griswold road trip, the fictional Disney knockoff park is somewhere I’d like to go. What’s not to like? There’s decent parking, you have John Candy as your security guard and a bunch of old school roller coasters.

This got me thinking of other fictional establishments from the small and big screen that I wish were real. Now before we start fantasizing about Narnia, let’s try to set a ground rule of at least trying to choose a realistic establishment – a company that could exist in our current world.

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If I could start every morning with any of those Mooby’s breakfast items in the opening sequence of Clerks II, I’d be a happy man. I mean, who knew eggs could come in tubes? It’s gotta be good. Of course I would need it served by a very rude Randal Graves while Dante Hicks reprimands him for treating customers like crap. Unfortunately, those of us hoping to grab an artery clogging menu item from Mooby the Golden Calf is out of luck, as the character and its branded establishments exist only in the world of director Kevin Smith.

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Need to hit your local watering hole after work? Or maybe during lunch? Heck, might as well grab a cold one to wash down your Mooby’s breakfast as the doors are never locked and the taps seem to always flow at Paddy’s Pub. I would order a white wine just to have Sweet Dee berate my manhood while Mac gives me an ocular pat down. Before leaving, I’d hit the men’s room hoping not to find Frank at the custom glory hole at the last stall. Although they claim Philly as their home, the walls of Paddys Pub stand in Los Angeles on the set of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

It’s sad to say that I actually put some serious thought into making these selections. What’s even worse is that after I post this, I know I’ll think of at least 20 more. Feel free to leave comments below as I intend to drop additional ones as I think of them throughout my day.

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